I can't keep avoiding this anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

When I opened this account, I thought I'd be able to find a focus for my doodling. But since this sophomore year of college started, I haven't committed the time at all. Everything fell apart. I thought I'd continue to produce cartoons. I, I thought I'd even try to submit them to my school's newspaper. But it's become obvious that I'm not good enough. I'm trying to keep up with school and my part-time job. But, I think it proves also I lack commitment. I'm sorry. I became so frustrated by this revelation that I started to avoid DeviantArt completely. But I realized today that I can't run away like that. I still doodle compulsively. And I still value everything that everyone I met here submits and I do mean to catch up with all that I've missed. I have to make it up, even if I can't. I'd just like people to know that I'm not going to roll over and let this die and that I'm sorry for the failure I've made of myself.

Hello, whoever reads this.

I was encouraged to join DeviantArt by the awesomely talented Dragonwings13, a personal friend. She, her mind, her poetry, her art - she never fails to blow me away. She's kind of like Tolkien, but her world is darker and with more powerful warrior women, men and monsters capable of all kinds of mutilation. Her poetry is very reflective and kind of mythical. I don't know much about poetry, but I think her stuff reminds me of Samuel Coleridge ("Rime of the Ancient Mariner"), or Tennyson, or I don't know. She could write lyrics for metal bands, like Nightwish, her favorite. Anyway, she's amazing.
[/shameless promotion]

You may notice that my account is three months old, but it was not until this week that I uploaded all of my original documents - cartoons I have doodled mostly through high school. I have too much respect for real artists to consider myself one, but I am a compulsive doodler. I think through DeviantArt I can really enjoy appreciating everyone's hard work and try to turn my compulsion into a real hobby or practice. Now that I'm all updated, it may be a few days before my next work, but I do have ideas running. Today, however, I'm being whisked away by new friends on a trip.

I'm really really grateful for the feedback I've been getting already! It definitely motivates me to check out your profiles and galleries. Thank-you.

That's all the time I have to explain,

Hakoiri Musume